So let me start by saying this is my personal journey, and I'm of the belief that just because you've experienced something it isn't a life sentence. Yes, I've struggled with both anxiety and depression, but when we broke up for the last time in 2008 and I decided to never go back to that relationship. I was the person that worked as a therapist (mental health) teaching others how to appropriately deal with their stressors and appropriately utilize coping skills so they can be more successful personally and professional, but I wasn't even practicing what I was preaching. I knew the information and still did nothing to apply them to my own life.
What changed? Truthfully, it was a decision. I came to the conclusion that if I wanted to get out of the cycle I had to change my mindset. It took years, but with lots of "exercise" I became mentally tough. Journaling became my sanctuary and daily gratitudes made me intentionally prioritize positive things I had occurring in my life. When you're in the anxiety cycle your brain is consistently in a negative state and it's important to force positivity on yourself. The music I listened to, what I watched on tv, quiet time being filled with personal development and podcasts, and avoiding alone time when I started feeling overwhelmed were non-negotiables. I made myself spend more time out in the sun and get fresh air as well as hugging friends as much as possible (loading up on oxytocin- It contributes to happy). Did it fix everything? Heck no! But, I will say that I slowly stopped crying in the shower because I woke up and it didn't hurt to be alive (I can't explain this one, but if you've ever been depressed and felt physical pain you know exactly what I'm talking about). Day by day life started improving and I felt like I started being able to have a clearer mind to appropriately deal with everything I had going on.
Life is a process. While I will never allow myself to get as bad as I was, when things pop up that I'm not prepared for sometimes they cause me a big pause. Seeing the email from the school in regards to returning school items hit me with a reality I hadn't quite processed. I immediately got teary eyed and needed to start deep breaths. Anxiety sent me a text messages, but I refused to respond. I gathered my thoughts and understood that in spite of the circumstances what was being done was in the best interest of the children as well as school staff. While there won't be any end of the year parties and I won't get a chance to say goodbyes to all of the people I've grown so fond of, but it's not the end of the world. In a world where things are falling apart for so many people, I will remain positive for every blessing I've been given. While I know this won't work for everyone, I'm encouraging anyone who is ready to break up to start packing. It's possible for to be an ex with anxiety and I'm living proof!