Talk About it Tuesday

Mother’s Day

Life Without My Mother

This past weekend was year #16 without my mother. I’ve definitely gotten much better emotionally with the realization, but there are definitely still some holes left in my life. I was able to participate in a podcast by my longtime friend Dana (IG- @danamyte781) and it was based on how I’ve dealt with and am currently dealing with the loss of my mother. I thought it would foolish of me not to expound on some of the things we covered with Mother’s Day happening this past weekend. 

Just so you can have some background, I encourage you to check out the podcast here: https://www.instagram.com/p/COswQ8cggqs/?igshid=ox6th3rpairw. Learning to live life without your mother is honestly difficult. Most of the big moments of my adult life have been without her presence. She passed away before I graduated with my Master’s Degree, getting my first job in my career field, first apartment, purchasing my first home, meeting and eventually marrying my husband, having children, moving to Texas, etc. There are moments (and I’m pretty sure it will happen in the future) that I think about how different my life would be if she was here. I won’t pretend some of it is because she’d be retired and I could have some free childcare, but of course that’s not the only reason. This part is what’s hard. When Dana asked if I had any pictures of my mom and me for media, it hit me differently because I realized that I didn’t physically have any of those memories. To add insult to injury, my dad moved most of the photo albums in his house and couldn’t find them. That was the first time in a while that I got sad. It didn’t last long because it immediately forced me to consider how I wasn’t making sure that I had as many of those memories with my girls. I know have the responsibility to capture our moments so they can access them. The plan is that we will be taking some cute family pics at some point this week and I’m super excited since it’s been a while since we’ve had a photo shoot as a family.

My experience is definitely mine, but there are so many people that get “stuck” when losing someone very important. There’s no time frame when dealing with healing, but life will not stop for you. The biggest thing you can do for you is decide to take it one day at a time, but to be present in each day. While your life will never be the same, you can still have the life you always dreamed of in spite of that loss. This is a snapshot, but it doesn’t have to be the entire movie of your life. We not only grow from our wins, but also our losses. Take what you can from that experience, and if you’re unsure there’s anything remember that you’re still moving and still going. Your outlook will really shape the quality of life you have (whether you have a loss of a mother or not). Have you in the past or are you currently dealing with a loss? How is that going for you?

Add new comment

This question is for testing whether or not you are a human visitor and to prevent automated spam submissions.

4 + 0 =
Solve this simple math problem and enter the result. E.g. for 1+3, enter 4.