Talk About it Tuesday

While I recognize that life throws different challenges at people in a variety of levels, we still all have to remember that everyone is facing something. One of the biggest things I’ve come to realize is that your words do a healthy amount of  shaping how you endure whatever it is you experience. I’ve been connected to people that have gone through some of the most traumatic things I’ve ever heard of over the course of 2020 and the beginning of 2021, and their strength amazes me. One person I know lost 8 family members in the course of 2 months from COVID. Ages and/or health set aside, this is an enormous amount of weight for one person to carry. Yet, each time I spoke with her she rested in the fact that they were saved and that she just had to keep going each day. She knew that she’d have moments that weren’t the best and she did, but she also understood that if she just kept putting one foot in front of the other she would be able to make it. In spite of moments of frustration (she in here and Texas and her family is in Indiana), she made certain her words matched how she wanted to feel even if she wasn’t currently experiencing it. She never let herself get too down or dwell in self loathing. While I get this isn’t everyone’s story, the foundation is definitely take away worthy.

Life is not fair at all. One moment we may think we are figuring things out and are starting to get a handle on things and the next we could be sent in a tailwind and everything starts to look as if it’s falling apart. I watched so many people express how terrible 2020. I saw a range from depression and anxiety to distress from being in such close quarters with family or alone. While I refuse to be the person that tells someone how they feel I will say that no one should knowingly have information, not use it, and expect positive results. As someone that previously has experienced both depression and anxiety, I know my triggers. I continually do things that ensure that I either avoid my triggers or they are coped with in a appropriate manner so that I don’t become stagnant and decline back into a state of getting nothing accomplished (this is geared towards people that speak on those things always being a struggle or have been for a long period of time). People complained about so many things going wrong instead of taking inventory of what was right and intentionally putting focus there. I watched as other state their reasons for why they wouldn’t feel bad for “doing nothing” and the only thing I felt was sad. Do I have days that I don’t accomplish much...of course. I’m human and because we all are, we need breaks. But, the very sentiment that someone would be willing to verbalize and stay in a state that doesn’t contribute to their growth and development makes no sense to me. (*We as parents/adults would never allow our children/kids we come in close contact with to make those same statements and do nothing....so we should be applying that same logic to ourselves) This is something I had to work on mentally. I feel like I need people to understand how important they are and everything they attach to them is, but I only get to control me. It became very freeing when I internalized this and decided that I will live my one life purposefully and enjoy it. I refuse to experience days that I don’t produce something. I may not craft or complete a project, but if I get two loads of clothes washed and dinner cooked...I’ll take it. I don’t make unattainable goals, but I make certain to expect something out of myself each and everyday.

When I’m working out and I get tired, I always pump myself up by repeating “you can do anything”. The more I tell myself that, the more my body positions itself to get ready for the next interval. How you speak to yourself really does shape the type of production you get out of your life. Sure this concept may be basic and so many people will offer the counter of folks that say things that never accomplish those goals, but I will suggest that it’s merely because many folks have words with no work. They are a complimentary meal for each other. Now that I’m in a place to finally see how enjoying the work helps encourage my words and vice versa, whenever I decide to enter back into the workplace I will make certain that I don’t allow myself to “suffer for a paycheck”. I recognize that while I may need something, it is my responsibility to make the decision where I choose to get it from. If you want ice cream and you go to McDonald’s, then you run the risk of disappointment based on their track record. I’ve done this before and my well- being took a huge hit because of it. We all get one life to live and this is it. There aren’t do overs so why not work our hardest to make each day the best day versus looking at social media of other people’s lives that are getting their best life. Speak what you want, plan for it, and then execute. You really can do it if you really want to. Do you have any areas that you’ve struggled with talking about positively?