Talk About it Tuesday

One of the hardest things I’ve ever had to come to grips with is my lack of grace for me. Work has been put in for several years to be more mindful of others and their needs with an emphasis on giving grace. The awareness of how much we as people need grace because of our humanity has changed how I do relationships. So why is it so hard fo me to provide myself with the needed room for mistakes?

Truth is as a stay at home mom (whether people say it or not), there’s a level of expectation in regards to the upkeep of your home, your family, and yourself. My personal challenge has been: children are no excuse to live in a home that’s cluttered and nasty. In the beginning I will admit I overdid it and become overwhelmed quickly. I now have tasks scheduled for different days of the week and do minor upkeep throughout the week. My main focus is where people that come over would be. However, there is no greater feeling than walking into my bedroom to a nicely made bed or going to the laundry room and it’s somewhat organized (we are getting cabinets put in very soon). The older I’ve become the more the small details matter. Problem is, my humanity typically shows itself when I’ve gone too far and tired kicks in. If I’m unwilling to rest and slow down, I will inevitably become sick and be forced to rest. This is a terrible scenario because mommy has too many responsibilities to take days off. A lot of stuff will just sit if I don’t address them. Setting a standard is never a bad thing, but it’s quite noticeable once that standard isn’t being met. This is where grace becomes something I don’t give myself. I push myself to get things done and to be honest it comes with a side of resentment. It bothers me that anyone can walk around trash or just a general mess and not feel it’s necessary to clean up. But things that aren’t your focus won’t be attended to. Having a clean home just isn’t on the top of my children’s list or even my husband. I do try to first make certain I’m setting a tangible example to my children in regards to cleanliness. They see me, but it has absolutely no impact (most of the time...sometimes they will offer to help me though). I’m still trying to find the balance of setting the standard and creating appropriate expectations (agreed on with both parties) on others that live within the household. 

As 2021 continues on, I’m getting better. I’m not allowing my feelings to make decisions for me versus me focusing on how I desire to live and doing the work required for that life. Cleaning has become therapeutic in a sense and I find peace in creating a space that encourages creativity and calm. The one area I didn’t mention above is occupation. Being a stay at home mom is a lot of work...PERIODT. Unfortunately, when you’ve worked professionally sometimes it’s hard to make the transition mentally especially considering there’s no paycheck. The work level has increased and sometimes the payoff doesn’t seem to come quickly. I’m changing this. After finding things I enjoy doing on a consistent basis, I’m finding a niche in the furniture makeover realm as well as crafting and will sell things I make. There are definitely mistakes to be made, but also beautiful accidents. There really is a space for everyone and being a _______ doesn’t mean you can’t find creative ways to create income if you so desire. Me giving myself grace has allowed me to find this new passion, learn, and potentially put myself in position to not need to go back to a conventional job.

Is giving yourself grace an area you struggle with as well? How do you plan on changing this if so?