Adulting

Living in the “Then What”…

deann — Tue, 19 Sep 2023 08:34:00 +0000

Living in the “Then What”…

From a very young age, I planned out my life. I knew I didn’t want to live in my hometown, I knew I wanted to be married with kids, and I knew I wanted a house by 25. I had at least these three figured out by middle school and would proudly share all of that with my family members as often as I could. There are many days my adult self envies that little girl. Each of those things she desired, she accomplished. Unfortunately in college, everything started becoming a little less clear. I eventually ended up with two degrees and a 12 year career in a field that wasn’t apart of my “plan”

Since my youngest has started school, I can’t recall how many times I’ve been asked when I’m going back to work. My answer is usually always the same: NEVER (Let me pause and shoutout my husband for pushing me into this mindset). I haven’t worked in a “regular job” since 2012 when I discovered the world of contract work and working from home, but I also am not interested in going back into the therapy/social services world. After most people heard me say never the next question was, “then what are you going to do?” Initially, I can admit I had no idea. I would laugh it off, but being in my late 30s and not having a plan for my life outside of wife and mom wasn’t something I could stay satisfied with. It wasn’t until the lockdown that I was able to find something I was passionate about. Currently, I’m focused on building my business in interior decorating while attempting to explore options of possibly finding ways to incorporate utilizing my degree. I don’t have another option and I’ve giving this everything I have. Even if this doesn’t work out, I refuse to be lead by fear of “what if”. So this season is riding the grateful train and making the most of the opportunities I’m given.

My life doesn’t look like the one I dreamed about as a little girl, but I can admit that I didn’t even know this type of life was possible. Me not getting the life I wanted has been the best thing that ever happened to me. I would love to hear other stories of experiencing something similar to this as well as what you did. And for the person currently experiencing this and struggling: Life happens and things don’t always work out as planned, but I want to encourage you to put one foot in the other and just commit to being the best version of you even if you don’t really have an idea of what’s next.

deann Tue, 09/19/2023 - 08:34

emotional intelligence

health and wellness

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Adulting

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Talk About it Tuesday

deann — Tue, 21 Sep 2021 15:43:09 +0000

Talk About it Tuesday

Topic: Adulting 101

Let me be honest….I wish there was a book that I could read that would instantly tell me how to be a successful adult. Unfortunately, different strokes for different folks is a very real thing and if there was a book it probably wouldn’t work for my life. Once I knew I was going to become a stay at home mom, I got plenty of feedback from other women that “tried it” or were still doing it. A lot of it was negative. I was already a ball of nerves because I was moving hundreds of miles away without family, but adding on a new position in life just added to the stress. Truth is, whatever you encounter/experience is a learning opportunity and whatever you do with that opportunity will determine your outlook. While I had huge learning curve, I have absolutely grown to love my role as a stay at home mom and wouldn’t change it for anything. When people ask me if I plan on going back to work, the truth is I don’t know. Right now I’m focusing on what I can control and that is to make this blog the best on the block and once the weather cools off return to the shop and do more furniture makeovers. That’s it….I won’t think past that because if I do this well enough I won’t have to. Now that I’ve gotten that off my chest, I wanted to share a few things that I’ve discovered that have made adulting more palatable.

1. Always make your bed- I never knew this even mattered until 2020 (I was in the “if I’m just going to get back in why does it even matter” crew). Once I started being able to focus on how my home looked, I realized that on days my bed was made when I walked in the room it felt “different”. I can’t even explain what it is, but I do know that order sets tones and the bedroom is a great place to have order.

2. Know the difference between what you can afford and what you can buy- I didn’t always understand this in my 20s. I would waste money on something because I had to have it, but wouldn’t consider if it needed any other attachments or special things to make it work. Once getting it and realizing I needed other things, I’d either decide it wasn’t worth it and give it away or I’d just break down and get the other stuff (spending more money I didn’t necessarily have). I am a person that believes in having some of your wants and desires, but the most important thing is needs. Never neglect those over wants. Yes, you may be able to buy that car…but if you can’t afford the oil changes you’re wasting money because as long as you drive you’ll need maintenance. Count up the costs and make sure things are worth it!

3. Reaping and Sowing- This is also what goes around comes around. Whether you believe in this or not, it’s true. With that being said…in the day and age of “keep the same energy” remember that whatever you give will be your feast to eat. I don’t say this lightly. Yes people can be jerks and piss you off to the highest level of pissivity, but how you act will the be what you reap. Most people are so focused on what was done to them that it’s forgotten whatever you give you get back. I’m not perfect so I have to work on this myself, but please know if you throw a little shade you may end up with a whole Oak tree. I’ve learned lessons in grace while holding firm to my boundaries.

4. Input = Output- In a world full of entitled folks: NO ONE owes any of us anything. While it would be awesome to get something for nothing, this usually is never the case. If you want something, you need to put in the time and effort to get it. This process is usually not the most enjoyable, but if I haven’t learned anything completing goals is so satisfying. I can’t explain how much joy I get from finishing projects or seeing results from my workouts and eating right. Work for what you want and once you get it set more goals. This is the cycle of life and adjustments are apart of that.

5. Be willing- I wish I knew a lot more than I do, but I don’t (my brain is filled with a lot of knowledge, but sometimes I can’t even remember the name for a doorbell so..). But, I have internet and access to Google and YouTube. I find pleasure in finding answers to problems. Now that I’m a parent, I get to realize how much less I know that I thought I knew and will honestly say “I don’t know”. This isn’t something I heard often growing up but wish I did. There’s nothing wrong with not having all the answers, but in life not knowing isn’t an excuse to do nothing. We preach this to our kids all the time so it only makes sense that we are willing to “go find out”. We are imperfect people navigating life with other imperfect people and this can cause a lot of issues if we aren’t willing to own up to our shortcomings. Whatever you want to know, be willing to seek out answers or connect with those that have the information you need. This will greatly take unnecessary weight off your shoulders as an adult.

These are just a few things, but there are so many I could probably write a book. What’s something that you have found to be helpful to remember as an adult?

deann Tue, 09/21/2021 - 15:43

Adulting

Growing up

Advice