When all of this is over if I have done nothing else, I have learned that there is nothing more important than choosing myself. I have made my mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual well being apart of my daily to-do list. Guess what I've discovered? I like the new me and so does my family. I'm not stressed or frustrated nearly as much as I used to be so I don't snap as much as I used to (I'm still a work in progress, but I still struggle when I'm supposed to become inspector gadget and find everything). By filling up my own tank, I have something to give to them. *Counselor info I'm finally using for myself* I am my responsibility and refuse to make excuses when I don't have what I need. Truth is, this has been one of the hardest lessons I've had to learn. While most people will voice this as being selfish, the reality is that you have to be selfish with you when it comes to your overall well being. Here's a few things that have helped me:
- Knowing my love languages and giving them to myself daily. I want to feel loved everyday (acts of service and quality time) so I make sure it happens. By no means am I saying that my hubby and kids don't help with this, but I refuse to depend on them for this.
- Scheduling things I enjoy as often as I can. I have been working on making certain that I keep up with my agenda in order to be more productive. I make sure that the necessary things are covered, but things I want to do also get included on my daily schedule. I get that it can be tricky, but I'm worth the same extra effort I put into everyone else.
- Stop making excuses. I had to come to the realization that there isn't an award given for always putting myself last. *Remember we show/teach people how to treat us. Your children are always watching.
- Dress up a little. I don't do this everyday, but staying in pajamas all day won't send messages to your brain to feel good. I put on some real clothes, cute earrings, a little mascara (if I'm being fancy), a dash of perfume, and do my lips with something tinted. It's amazing how much better I feel with something so simple. I feel good and I get compliments from the hubby and my kids and that's always a win-win.
- Learning to say NO. Karyn White said it best, I'm not your Superwoman. I created boundaries that help me maintain my mental and emotional stability. I do what I can and many times I do more than what I should, but if it started feeling like I'm going to become overwhelmed I will immediately stop and delegate to the responsible person.
Being good to you is being good to your family. Take some time out and evaluate how you can make you a priority. It may start off small and that's all you can do, but something is better than nothing. You've always been you...before the kids and spouse, and since you're always going to be you make sure you're doing your best towards you.