Feature Friday

Since I completely forgot Worth it Wednesday this week I am strategically moving it to Friday...Clearly my brain has been consumed with finishing and starting the many projects that are the garage. This week won’t be a product, but definitely something that I think requires investment: Friendship.

Initial Thoughts: Everyone that said they were my friends would act accordingly. I always thought I was a good friend to people. As a child, I felt that friends were people you could share secrets ,talk on the phone with for hours, and have fun with.

How it’s Going: I’m definitely no longer a child!! However, friendship is invaluable if you’re able to friend a quality friend. I’ve had people say they were my friend and tell other people things I’ve said in confidence, I’ve had people just walk away from our friendship for what seemed no reason, and I’ve been lied to and on by folks that said they were my friend. What I’ve gained is knowledge in regards to characteristics of people that I can’t have close relationships with. These folks can be placed in the acquaintance category and that’s okay. Everyone isn’t designed to be my bestie...I had to become okay with that. I also had to learn that relationships are valued at different levels. I’m someone that things highly of them so I invest in them as such, but that doesn’t mean I’ll get reciprocity. Anyone I deem a friend, I have no doubt about what they offer my life in return for me being in theirs. Takers have just become acquaintances and I have a better understanding of what I can choose to give without depleting myself. Emotional intelligence and personal growth and development have created a space for me to recognize that it’s okay for me to be me (I’m a giver) and not have expectations. But, I’m also no longer giving of myself foolishly. True friendship should be a place with reciprocity and growth. Sure it won’t all happen at the same time, but relationships are transactional and if aren’t able to provide deposits yet you often make withdrawals then you probably aren’t a “friend”.

Is it Worth it: Yes. I know there’s been a season of “no new friends” but truthfully you are only as good as those you’re connected to so you probably should consider opening up some space in your life. It also could mean tightening some boundaries on some that have had too much access to you. People change and that’s cool, but it’s important to remember that you do as well. Make the investment in people that will help encourage and push you towards your best self and you’ll never regret it.

What’s your take on friends? Has it changed since getting older?