Transitioning from working to staying at home

Apr 10, 2020 in
Stay at home mom
Transitioning from working to staying at home
Lifestyle
emotional intelligence
Staying at home

Initially, transitioning from being a working mom to staying at home was difficult. I wasn't used to not having "adult talk time" or some task to focus on that took the pressure off being a parent for a moment. Being at home and having a little person following your every move was very frustrating and I didn't enjoy it, but I also knew that once we relocated halfway across the country from family that I had to put on my big girl panties. My situation isn't isolated and I've talked with several friends that tried the stay at home life and just said they were too bored and couldn't do it. I've had many people ask me how I manage and these are the five basics that have changed my tune and I openly admit I have no desire to go back to work.

  1. I decided I was going to enjoy it and be happy- The overall sentiment is simple, but many people don't choose to exert their ability to control how they feel. You get to determine your perspective on being a stay at home mom. If you decide to look at every negative aspect, you'll quickly begin to hate it and regret being at home. Is it tough? Heck yeah, but so is being a full-time working parent.
  2. I do the things I said I would- When I worked I remember daydreaming about all the things I'd do if I ever was able to stay at home. Based on the conversations I've had with others that have tried the stay at home role but went back to work, ti seems most of them never did the things that excited them during that time. Yes the children are a priority, but that doesn't mean you forsake your own wants, needs, and desires. Anything you want to do you make/find time to do it and refuse to accept your own excuses. Excuses will keep you stagnant and eventually you'll end up resentful because all you do is cook and clean.
  3. I maximize my productivity- I find ways to complete multiple tasks at the same time. Personal development is very important to me, but sometimes I get too busy or just forget to turn it on. I've made it a habit that while I'm cleaning the bathrooms, folding clothes, vacuuming, or anything that doesn't require too much thought I just pop on my headphones and get the encouragement I need to become the best version of myself. It makes washing dishes a little easier (I hate washing dishes). I've recognized that since laundry is a pretty simple task, I start that early in the morning and while it's going I get bills completed/paid, make phone calls, figure out dinner, and daily day prep. This typically takes a short period of time and gets several things accomplished. The old work saying still applies...work smarter not harder.
  4. I view this as my job and plan accordingly- During my working days, I always had to have an agenda to stay on task and keep reminders of things that needed to be addressed. Over the past month, I've revamped home life in the same manner. I plan on a weekly basis and I make certain to divide up all the household chores over the course of a 5 day period allowing myself one free day of no chores. Prior to this, I constantly overworked myself and was so unhappy. While I usually will end the day with touch-ups here and there with cleaning, I have no intentions going back to trying to clean the entire house in a day again. Also, if the things in #2 are really important to you they should be included in your agenda. Knocking off my list is too important to allow myself to become slack so I've become quite efficient at getting work done.
  5. I mind my business and ignore things that aren't- My faith, my family, and my circle are some of the most important things to me. Even within that group, my household will not take a backseat for all of that other stuff. My husband and I extensively discussed what we desired for our family and we made the necessary choices. I've had some family not agree with me being a stay at home mom especially considering I have a Master's degree. While my feelings were hurt, I recognized that it's not my business to care what others think and since there hasn't been an offer to cover any of our bills we keep doing what's best for our house. Everyone has an opinion and it's okay to respect that fact. Yet, you don't have to accept it as your own. I have to live my life everyday and experience any consequences of the choices I make. 

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Но странное поведение мамы, вынуждало меня узнать всё таки истинную причину, её не обычного влечения к шопомании.

Заранее купив новой одежды, чтобы не быть узнаным, и облачившись в эти шмотки, изменив облик, а на глаза нацепив солнцезащитные очки с бейсболкой, я решил проследить за мамой, когда она в очередной раз, пошла за покупками в ТК.
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Неотступно ступая ей в след, я добрался с ней до ТК. Не распознав меня, хотя я перед мамой часто светился, проверяя свою маскировку, мы вошли во внутрь этого грандиозного здания. По началу она и вправду ходила по бутикам, оглядываясь не редко на мужчин, а с некоторыми даже беседовала, но коротко, перекидываясь всего парой фраз. Я не слышал о чем они говорили, но по виду мужчин, можно сказать, что оппоненты очень были заинтересованы в этом разговоре.

Спустя час, её брожения по лабиринтам этих бутиков, она остановилась в одном из них и выбрав какую-то блузку, двинулась в сторону кабинки. Подойдя к ней, она оглянулась по сторонам и еще раз взглянув на номер над шторкой и убедившись, что именно в эту примерочную ей надо, мама не суетясь зашла туда.

Подумав, что здесь нет ничего необычного, я приметил молодого человека, с которым мама останавливалась и разговаривала. Он бродил по бутику и высматривал вещи, всё время поглядывая на кабинки. Выбрав что-то из одежды, он подошёл именно к той самой примерочной, куда некоторое время назад зашла моя мама. На вид парень был, чуть старше меня и испуганно взирая по сторонам, открыв штору кабинки, прошёл не задерживаясь во внутрь.

Я глазам своим не мог поверить, что это происходит. Разные мысли в голове, стали меня посещать и в основном они были интимного характера. Неужели моя мама, встречается с этим юнцом и в тайне от отца, изменяет ему, таким способом в примерочной кабинке ТК.

Да, да. У мамы был муж, который приходился мне отцом. Но у меня и в мыслях не было, что мама может так незатейливо, наставлять ему рога, посреди бела дня, да ещё при скоплении множества народа.

Мне стало любопытно, что же они там делают, и я подошёл к кабинке поближе. Стоя у шторы и прислушиваясь, я ничего не мог расслышать. Вокруг голдели люди и звуки сливались, теряясь в пространстве. Смирившись с этим, я отошёл в сторону якобы высматривая, что купить, но неизменно поглядывая в сторону примерочных. Тут неожиданно я увидел ещё пару человек, с которыми мама разговаривала. Они тоже ходили по магазинчику и что-то выбирали, косясь на кабинки с соответствующим номером. Вскоре со временем у примерочной скопилось более пяти человек. И они тупо озираясь друг на друга, не понимали, что вообще происходит. Некоторые примерочные были пусты, но никто в них не заходил из парней, ждавшие не понятно чего, как мне казалось.

И вот, этот парень, что был первый, быстро вылетев из кабинки, как ошпаренный, тут же помчался прочь, поправляя на ходу свои штаны. Я не понимал, что твориться здесь, смотря ему в след, как он удаляется. И пока у меня в голове это переваривалось, в кабинку прошмыгнул следующий из очереди, что стихийно образовалась у заманчивой для них примерочной.
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Jerrytoisk
April 09, 2025

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