Initially, transitioning from being a working mom to staying at home was difficult. I wasn't used to not having "adult talk time" or some task to focus on that took the pressure off being a parent for a moment. Being at home and having a little person following your every move was very frustrating and I didn't enjoy it, but I also knew that once we relocated halfway across the country from family that I had to put on my big girl panties. My situation isn't isolated and I've talked with several friends that tried the stay at home life and just said they were too bored and couldn't do it. I've had many people ask me how I manage and these are the five basics that have changed my tune and I openly admit I have no desire to go back to work.
- I decided I was going to enjoy it and be happy- The overall sentiment is simple, but many people don't choose to exert their ability to control how they feel. You get to determine your perspective on being a stay at home mom. If you decide to look at every negative aspect, you'll quickly begin to hate it and regret being at home. Is it tough? Heck yeah, but so is being a full-time working parent.
- I do the things I said I would- When I worked I remember daydreaming about all the things I'd do if I ever was able to stay at home. Based on the conversations I've had with others that have tried the stay at home role but went back to work, ti seems most of them never did the things that excited them during that time. Yes the children are a priority, but that doesn't mean you forsake your own wants, needs, and desires. Anything you want to do you make/find time to do it and refuse to accept your own excuses. Excuses will keep you stagnant and eventually you'll end up resentful because all you do is cook and clean.
- I maximize my productivity- I find ways to complete multiple tasks at the same time. Personal development is very important to me, but sometimes I get too busy or just forget to turn it on. I've made it a habit that while I'm cleaning the bathrooms, folding clothes, vacuuming, or anything that doesn't require too much thought I just pop on my headphones and get the encouragement I need to become the best version of myself. It makes washing dishes a little easier (I hate washing dishes). I've recognized that since laundry is a pretty simple task, I start that early in the morning and while it's going I get bills completed/paid, make phone calls, figure out dinner, and daily day prep. This typically takes a short period of time and gets several things accomplished. The old work saying still applies...work smarter not harder.
- I view this as my job and plan accordingly- During my working days, I always had to have an agenda to stay on task and keep reminders of things that needed to be addressed. Over the past month, I've revamped home life in the same manner. I plan on a weekly basis and I make certain to divide up all the household chores over the course of a 5 day period allowing myself one free day of no chores. Prior to this, I constantly overworked myself and was so unhappy. While I usually will end the day with touch-ups here and there with cleaning, I have no intentions going back to trying to clean the entire house in a day again. Also, if the things in #2 are really important to you they should be included in your agenda. Knocking off my list is too important to allow myself to become slack so I've become quite efficient at getting work done.
- I mind my business and ignore things that aren't- My faith, my family, and my circle are some of the most important things to me. Even within that group, my household will not take a backseat for all of that other stuff. My husband and I extensively discussed what we desired for our family and we made the necessary choices. I've had some family not agree with me being a stay at home mom especially considering I have a Master's degree. While my feelings were hurt, I recognized that it's not my business to care what others think and since there hasn't been an offer to cover any of our bills we keep doing what's best for our house. Everyone has an opinion and it's okay to respect that fact. Yet, you don't have to accept it as your own. I have to live my life everyday and experience any consequences of the choices I make.
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