Talk About it Tuesday


The Random Thoughts of Deann L. Kambeya

While I usually don’t post my “thoughts” on social media anymore, I do think it’s important to be a critical thinker. One of the reasons I won’t put up anything is because I’m not being paid for it there. My thoughts and opinions would be wasted in a sea of others doing the same so I reserve the right to keep them. Not because I think they don’t matter, but because I’m being strategic and putting myself in a position to be paid for them. It’s how I’m putting my entrepreneurial spirit in play and monetizing things that people are doing for free. While I’m not currently being paid, I have a few things that have been swirling in my head so I decided to put them here:

- You do NOT have to agree with someone else’s life choices. I have no idea why this concept is a struggle, but just because you think something doesn’t mean you need to say it. This does not apply to parent/child relationships because you’re responsible for children until they become adults, but once adulthood stops you can only offer advice and advise of appropriate actions. I see so many things on social media that are absolute crap and some of it has been racist, but I don’t go off or blow up. I don’t even unfriend. There are mute buttons and unfollow buttons, but my feelings aren’t so fragile that I can’t handle seeing how people think and acting accordingly. I am not anyone’s god so while I make think you’re making a mistake or whatever, unless asked I will be keeping my thoughts to myself.

- Selfishness kills relationships. Most people think couple relationships, but this is for any type of relationship that exists (ie business, social, friendships, etc.) This is a simple concept in theory, but no one thinks about the minuscule things that can be categorized under this. At some point, you have to consider others and their needs. Yes you matter, but not at the cost of someone else. I can’t explain how much it hurt to realize I was giving much more to relationships I was in than I was being given in return. Now that I recognize the importance of my relationships being transactional, I allow them to fall into place based on withdrawals vs. deposits ( DO NOT do this is in marriage or it will fail!!). I don’t mind sowing the seeds of what I desire in relationships and if I become aware that it is never reciprocated I don’t continue to “water the garden.” I make my life so much more simple by not forcing or pushing things. I lose nothing in life..I only learn!

Closed hands can’t be filled. Giving is something that is not optional in our family. We are beyond blessed since moving out to Houston and being obedient to what God told us to do in regards to our family. Since the move, we have been in a place of being able to sow more. We never have expectations from anyone, but it’s important to us to give to those who have given to us as well as those we can help. This isn’t an area I put on social media specifically because it’s a heart thing and I don’t care if other people know what we do in this particular arena. I just think it’s important for someone that is struggling financially to recognize the importance of sowing the seeds of the harvest you desire to reap. (*Also…be mindful of what’s coming in versus going out)

Being a Black, educated stay at home mom is hard. I don’t want anything to think I’m about to give it up! I’m just saying…it’s tough. I’m grateful that I married a man that absolutely adores me and desires the best for me. He pushes me when I’m hard on myself and he helps me succeed by ensuring I have what I need in order to do so. The community is growing and thanks to social media isn’t becoming less likely that you won’t be able to connect with others, but it can be very isolating so find something to put your hands to and go hard at it. 

I’ve been settling for good enough. Hard pill to swallow for sure. I work really hard both on my blog and my body, but the truth is I don’t give it my all… well not as much as I should. I know that I should have been recording videos since 2020 and I have yet to make the transition to doing that consistently because of excuses. I’ve allowed myself to create a pocket of comparing the current me to the old me. Of course I’m better than her so I don’t feel bad. The probably is when I think about where I could be if I just did what I was supposed to do and it makes me frustrated. I’m in the process of getting things together, but I have to quit waiting on the right moment and just do it. I wish the chick that pushed the door open just to prove someone else wrong would show up and kick me the hind to get moving. While I joke around, I refuse to let 2021 end with me still repeating this garbage to myself!

There’s so much more, but these are just a few that stand out. What’s been on your mind lately?


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