Topic: Adulting 101
Let me be honest….I wish there was a book that I could read that would instantly tell me how to be a successful adult. Unfortunately, different strokes for different folks is a very real thing and if there was a book it probably wouldn’t work for my life. Once I knew I was going to become a stay at home mom, I got plenty of feedback from other women that “tried it” or were still doing it. A lot of it was negative. I was already a ball of nerves because I was moving hundreds of miles away without family, but adding on a new position in life just added to the stress. Truth is, whatever you encounter/experience is a learning opportunity and whatever you do with that opportunity will determine your outlook. While I had huge learning curve, I have absolutely grown to love my role as a stay at home mom and wouldn’t change it for anything. When people ask me if I plan on going back to work, the truth is I don’t know. Right now I’m focusing on what I can control and that is to make this blog the best on the block and once the weather cools off return to the shop and do more furniture makeovers. That’s it….I won’t think past that because if I do this well enough I won’t have to. Now that I’ve gotten that off my chest, I wanted to share a few things that I’ve discovered that have made adulting more palatable.
1. Always make your bed- I never knew this even mattered until 2020 (I was in the “if I’m just going to get back in why does it even matter” crew). Once I started being able to focus on how my home looked, I realized that on days my bed was made when I walked in the room it felt “different”. I can’t even explain what it is, but I do know that order sets tones and the bedroom is a great place to have order.
2. Know the difference between what you can afford and what you can buy- I didn’t always understand this in my 20s. I would waste money on something because I had to have it, but wouldn’t consider if it needed any other attachments or special things to make it work. Once getting it and realizing I needed other things, I’d either decide it wasn’t worth it and give it away or I’d just break down and get the other stuff (spending more money I didn’t necessarily have). I am a person that believes in having some of your wants and desires, but the most important thing is needs. Never neglect those over wants. Yes, you may be able to buy that car…but if you can’t afford the oil changes you’re wasting money because as long as you drive you’ll need maintenance. Count up the costs and make sure things are worth it!
3. Reaping and Sowing- This is also what goes around comes around. Whether you believe in this or not, it’s true. With that being said…in the day and age of “keep the same energy” remember that whatever you give will be your feast to eat. I don’t say this lightly. Yes people can be jerks and piss you off to the highest level of pissivity, but how you act will the be what you reap. Most people are so focused on what was done to them that it’s forgotten whatever you give you get back. I’m not perfect so I have to work on this myself, but please know if you throw a little shade you may end up with a whole Oak tree. I’ve learned lessons in grace while holding firm to my boundaries.
4. Input = Output- In a world full of entitled folks: NO ONE owes any of us anything. While it would be awesome to get something for nothing, this usually is never the case. If you want something, you need to put in the time and effort to get it. This process is usually not the most enjoyable, but if I haven’t learned anything completing goals is so satisfying. I can’t explain how much joy I get from finishing projects or seeing results from my workouts and eating right. Work for what you want and once you get it set more goals. This is the cycle of life and adjustments are apart of that.
5. Be willing- I wish I knew a lot more than I do, but I don’t (my brain is filled with a lot of knowledge, but sometimes I can’t even remember the name for a doorbell so..). But, I have internet and access to Google and YouTube. I find pleasure in finding answers to problems. Now that I’m a parent, I get to realize how much less I know that I thought I knew and will honestly say “I don’t know”. This isn’t something I heard often growing up but wish I did. There’s nothing wrong with not having all the answers, but in life not knowing isn’t an excuse to do nothing. We preach this to our kids all the time so it only makes sense that we are willing to “go find out”. We are imperfect people navigating life with other imperfect people and this can cause a lot of issues if we aren’t willing to own up to our shortcomings. Whatever you want to know, be willing to seek out answers or connect with those that have the information you need. This will greatly take unnecessary weight off your shoulders as an adult.
These are just a few things, but there are so many I could probably write a book. What’s something that you have found to be helpful to remember as an adult?