It’s You

Sep 08, 2023 in
emotional intelligence
Mental Health
personal growth
Mindset
Positive mindset
Personal accountability
Accountability
No excuses
Mirror Mirror

I’ll go ahead and start with the punch line: If your life sucks it’s time to look at the person in the mirror. I know this isn’t easy to digest, but after all the work I’ve been doing to grow myself mentally and emotionally I realized that it always came back to that point. It was me and it’s highly likely the issue is you. There is nothing in the past or currently that is in my life that I didn’t have a hand in. Thankfully, I’m in recovery and I want to share what I’ve been doing and what’s been helping me get over the slump.

1. Change your thoughts- Life is life. Bad things can happen to good people and vice versa. I expect life to be life. While I’m maintaining my integrity of trying to always do right by myself and others, I recognize that bad things can and will still happen. It’s okay if things don’t always go my way, but that shouldn’t deter me from being me. I have put so much time and effort in investing in me being unwavering in spite of what happens around me. This does NOT happen having unstable messages in your ear constantly and seeing instability often. We are more likely to become what we are around versus us changing our environment. You have to immerse yourself in where you desire your mindset to be even if it’s not where you currently are. 

2. Change your circle- This is probably the hardest. Most of the changes in my circle were out of necessity. Relocation makes that easy. Since moving to Texas, I’ve had the pleasure of getting to know a few people but I didn’t have any friends. Once I realized I needed it and wanted it, I started praying for it. I’m not exactly sure how it happened the way it did, but I’ve reaped the benefits of having others in my life to offer me a different perspective while encouraging and pushing me to be my best self. These aren’t friendships because our kids are friends, we work together, or we have everything in common. Our group consists of people that understand reciprocity and don’t come to the table empty handed. Being around the right people will aid you in being able to see your value as well as offer value in return.

3. Quit making poor decisions- I’m not in my 20s or 30s anymore. I don’t live on the edge like I used to because I understand that the weight of the consequences is much greater. Now that I’m back working out I recognize that if I sustain an injury it’s not going to heal as fast as in the past, so I take precautions with more stretching and proper weightlifting technique. The same way I attempt to avoid being hurt is how I treat life. I take precautions with the people I’m willing to be around for extended periods of time, who has access to me (friendships/associations), where I’m willing to go, and what I’m willing to do. I don’t allow things that don’t align with my personal beliefs to have unlimited access to me. While I can’t control everything, I intentionally make sure the things I can control happen.

4. Quit making excuses- For a while, I lived here. One of the reasons why chose our new home was because it offered us a space with a home gym. We were over the garage gym life after a few Texas summers. Fast forward and after being in the house for a few months I got more serious with getting my business started. Starting a business is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done and I still have so much to learn and do. However, that was and still isn’t reason enough for me not to take my health seriously. It took me getting on a scale again to realize how much I was failing myself. There are things outside of me that grind my gears, but there is nothing like the realization of your own self sabotaging behaviors. So now, I’m being a better time manager and getting the things done.

At this point in my life I’m not seeking to be “smart”, I’m actively pursuing wisdom. I want to get good, knowledgeable information and apply it to my life so that I can present the best me to myself and others. I get excited just thinking about the future me. But I can say today without hesitation that I like me a lot, and the things I don’t really care for I’m working on changing consistently. What areas of your life are you trying to work on/improve? You can do it!!

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