Living in the “Then What”…

From a very young age, I planned out my life. I knew I didn’t want to live in my hometown, I knew I wanted to be married with kids, and I knew I wanted a house by 25. I had at least these three figured out by middle school and would proudly share all of that with my family members as often as I could. There are many days my adult self envies that little girl. Each of those things she desired, she accomplished. Unfortunately in college, everything started becoming a little less clear. I eventually ended up with two degrees and a 12 year career in a field that wasn’t apart of my “plan”

Since my youngest has started school, I can’t recall how many times I’ve been asked when I’m going back to work. My answer is usually always the same: NEVER (Let me pause and shoutout my husband for pushing me into this mindset). I haven’t worked in a “regular job” since 2012 when I discovered the world of contract work and working from home, but I also am not interested in going back into the therapy/social services world. After most people heard me say never the next question was, “then what are you going to do?” Initially, I can admit I had no idea. I would laugh it off, but being in my late 30s and not having a plan for my life outside of wife and mom wasn’t something I could stay satisfied with. It wasn’t until the lockdown that I was able to find something I was passionate about. Currently, I’m focused on building my business in interior decorating while attempting to explore options of possibly finding ways to incorporate utilizing my degree. I don’t have another option and I’ve giving this everything I have. Even if this doesn’t work out, I refuse to be lead by fear of “what if”. So this season is riding the grateful train and making the most of the opportunities I’m given.  

My life doesn’t look like the one I dreamed about as a little girl, but I can admit that I didn’t even know this type of life was possible. Me not getting the life I wanted has been the best thing that ever happened to me. I would love to hear other stories of experiencing something similar to this as well as what you did. And for the person currently experiencing this and struggling: Life happens and things don’t always work out as planned, but I want to encourage you to put one foot in the other and just commit to being the best version of you even if you don’t really have an idea of what’s next.