Talk About it Tuesday

Feb 01, 2022 in
SAHM

Subject: The Stay at Home Mom Life

While I’ve talked about this issues several times, I always feel that it’s good to revisit a thing once you’ve acquired greater experience, information, and perspective. I don’t know how most people view being a stay at home parent, but the truth is if you are an individual with a degree it adds to the pot of disapproval.

Let me be honest: we live in a society that says everyone needs to take responsibility for their child/ren, but if you do it by choosing to be a stay at home parent it can be frowned upon (I’ll add that this may be more in the Black community but I don’t know that for certain). There’s just so much pressure placed on the idea that if you’re not working for someone else, you’re not working. That old way of thinking caused me so much anxiety early on in my transition to being at home. Now that I’ve gotten my “thinking up”, I understand that it is NOT my responsibility to get anyone else on board with the plan that we established for our family. We discussed it, prayed over it, and walked it out. We’ve made it abundantly clear that we are following the call on our lives and anyone that doesn’t like it can take it up with God. I promise this is eliminated all of the chatter that came towards me, but I’m sure there’s still plenty of conversations that I’m not included in that mention me not working. 

Aside from the people outside the house, it’s a struggle to maintain sanity (sometimes) with the folks that stay within the same walls. I can remember working various jobs and always feeling undervalued, but without fail I was paid. Now that I’m at home I get that same feeling without any sort of compensation. I don’t want to make people afraid to a take the leap, but there is definitely a level of reality that needs to be passed along so that feelings don’t get completely destroyed. I desire a home that I don’t need to tidy up before someone comes or feel embarrassed if someone stops by, but no matter how much I clean as long as others live with me there is the potential that there’s crap laying around. I have never been a neat freak per se, but the older I get the more I desire order and tidiness. Unfortunately, my family doesn’t care about this and I find myself in the cycle of either just do it so it’s done and aesthetically pleasing, say “f” it and then my house is a disaster zone, or yell my head off. Currently, I lean more heavily towards the first two but I’ve been known to take the levels up and pray the neighbors don’t hear me. 

Growing usually means that some pain is involved. I’ve found that most of mine has been emotional pain, but it has definitely been worth it all. I’ve become less strict with some things and encouraged more personal responsibility in other areas. While the girls are still learning their roles, I’ve refused to put myself back into a position to stay overwhelmed trying to do everything for everyone. I am one person and I need me too. So I’m doing what I can when I can, but I’m making sure that I’ve invested in my own interests and desires. I am also in the process of looking into getting a cleaning service bi-weekly or at least once a month to take some of this weight off my shoulders. I no longer feel bad about needing help nor asking for it! Tell me about your experience as a stay at home mom/parent.

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Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky will meet US President Joe Biden and Vice President Kamala Harris in Washington on Thursday. Leon Neal/Getty Images
CNN
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Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky’s visit to the White House on Thursday could be his final chance to convince a receptive American president of his country’s war aims.
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The precise details of the “victory plan” Zelensky plans to present in separate meetings to President Joe Biden and Vice President Kamala Harris are unknown, having been closely held until they are presented to the American leaders.

But according to people briefed on its broad contours, the plan reflects the Ukrainian leader’s urgent appeals for more immediate help countering Russia’s invasion. Zelensky is also poised to push for long-term security guarantees that could withstand changes in American leadership ahead of what is widely expected to be a close presidential election between Harris and former President Donald Trump.

The plan, people familiar with it said, acts as Zelensky’s response to growing war weariness even among his staunchest of western allies. It will make the case that Ukraine can still win — and does not need to cede Russian-seized territory for the fighting to end — if enough assistance is rushed in.

That includes again asking permission to fire Western provided long-range weapons deeper into Russian territory, a line Biden once was loathe to cross but which he’s recently appeared more open to as he has come under growing pressure to relent.

Even if Biden decides to allow the long-range fires, it’s unclear whether the change in policy would be announced publicly.

Biden is usually apt to take his time making decisions about providing Ukraine new capabilities. But with November’s election potentially portending a major change in American approach to the war if Trump were to win, Ukrainian officials — and many American ones — believe there is little time to waste.
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Trump has claimed he will be able to “settle” the war upon taking office and has suggested he’ll end US support for Kyiv’s war effort.

“Those cities are gone, they’re gone, and we continue to give billions of dollars to a man who refused to make a deal, Zelensky. There was no deal that he could have made that wouldn’t have been better than the situation you have right now. You have a country that has been obliterated, not possible to be rebuilt,” Trump said during a campaign speech in Mint Hill, North Carolina, on Wednesday.

Comments like those have lent new weight to Thursday’s Oval Office talks, according to American and European officials, who have described an imperative to surge assistance to Ukraine while Biden is still in office.

As part of Zelensky’s visit, the US is expected to announce a major new security package, thought it will likely delay the shipping of the equipment due to inventory shortages, CNN previously reported according to two US officials. On Wednesday, the US announced a package of $375 million.

The president previewed Zelensky’s visit to the White House a day beforehand, declaring on the margins of the United Nations General Assembly his administration was “determined to ensure that Ukraine has what it needs to prevail in fight for survival.”
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“Tomorrow, I will announce a series of actions to accelerate support for Ukraine’s military – but we know Ukraine’s future victory is about more than what happens on the battlefield, it’s also about what Ukrainians do make the most of a free and independent future, which so many have sacrificed so much for,” he said.

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January 08, 2025

Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky will meet US President Joe Biden and Vice President Kamala Harris in Washington on Thursday. Leon Neal/Getty Images
CNN
—
Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky’s visit to the White House on Thursday could be his final chance to convince a receptive American president of his country’s war aims.
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The precise details of the “victory plan” Zelensky plans to present in separate meetings to President Joe Biden and Vice President Kamala Harris are unknown, having been closely held until they are presented to the American leaders.

But according to people briefed on its broad contours, the plan reflects the Ukrainian leader’s urgent appeals for more immediate help countering Russia’s invasion. Zelensky is also poised to push for long-term security guarantees that could withstand changes in American leadership ahead of what is widely expected to be a close presidential election between Harris and former President Donald Trump.

The plan, people familiar with it said, acts as Zelensky’s response to growing war weariness even among his staunchest of western allies. It will make the case that Ukraine can still win — and does not need to cede Russian-seized territory for the fighting to end — if enough assistance is rushed in.

That includes again asking permission to fire Western provided long-range weapons deeper into Russian territory, a line Biden once was loathe to cross but which he’s recently appeared more open to as he has come under growing pressure to relent.

Even if Biden decides to allow the long-range fires, it’s unclear whether the change in policy would be announced publicly.

Biden is usually apt to take his time making decisions about providing Ukraine new capabilities. But with November’s election potentially portending a major change in American approach to the war if Trump were to win, Ukrainian officials — and many American ones — believe there is little time to waste.
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Trump has claimed he will be able to “settle” the war upon taking office and has suggested he’ll end US support for Kyiv’s war effort.

“Those cities are gone, they’re gone, and we continue to give billions of dollars to a man who refused to make a deal, Zelensky. There was no deal that he could have made that wouldn’t have been better than the situation you have right now. You have a country that has been obliterated, not possible to be rebuilt,” Trump said during a campaign speech in Mint Hill, North Carolina, on Wednesday.

Comments like those have lent new weight to Thursday’s Oval Office talks, according to American and European officials, who have described an imperative to surge assistance to Ukraine while Biden is still in office.

As part of Zelensky’s visit, the US is expected to announce a major new security package, thought it will likely delay the shipping of the equipment due to inventory shortages, CNN previously reported according to two US officials. On Wednesday, the US announced a package of $375 million.

The president previewed Zelensky’s visit to the White House a day beforehand, declaring on the margins of the United Nations General Assembly his administration was “determined to ensure that Ukraine has what it needs to prevail in fight for survival.”
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“Tomorrow, I will announce a series of actions to accelerate support for Ukraine’s military – but we know Ukraine’s future victory is about more than what happens on the battlefield, it’s also about what Ukrainians do make the most of a free and independent future, which so many have sacrificed so much for,” he said.

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